Mark Twain hangs out with the wrong crowd....

Just another meaty Monday.

Yes, it is the dreaded Monday and I'm sure the few of you out there who actually have jobs are quite bored already. Here's just a few things to pass the time.

Tomorrow, Inglorious Basterds (as well as The Hangover) arrives on DVD, just in time for the holidays. If you still buy DVD's and don't steal them off the pirate bay or various other torrent sites like everyone else out there, go buy Tarantino's Basterds immediately. Personally I think it's one of the best films of 2009, full of angry Nazis, extreme bloodshed and a mustachioed Brad Pitt... how can you go wrong?

Here's a little Hilter humor to get in the spirit of things:

Bafflingly hilarious.

Not quite sure if that is the abominable snowman or Hitler on Halloween.

 I tried to figure out how this makes sense at all and just gave up. I have a pretty good idea who is pushing this message...

 

Cats that look like Hitler

Heil ham!

Happy 2009th birthday Jesus!

Since we're not bombarded with enough constant reminders that Christmas is now 2 weeks away, I figured I'd get into the spirit a little with some images of none other than our Lord and Savior. Inspired by something I saw the other day that read "put the CHRIST back in CHRISTMAS" here He is at his finest.

Jesus and Drugs

Sometimes even Jesus can't just say no.

Damn good excuse Jesus.



Jesus Fail Moments

Well, this is actually a Walmart Fail moment, but still priceless.

Not exactly sure what kind of "friend" this makes Jesus, but he has a cute little lamb so he's probably legit.

Watch out kids!

Turn him on or off, whichever you please.

This one really has more of an Easter theme, but damnit it's just so.... accurate.

Miscellaneous Jesus

I think he'd probably be the cop. 

Pretty cool party trick you got there JC.

Lastly, a little old school LOL Jesus humor.... and fittingly it seems I've got a one way ticket there myself.

Happy Holydays.

I Don't Even Know.........

Where do you even begin......


.......If you need me, i'll be crying in a dark corner in a puddle of my own urine.

Gobble Gobble Mother Fucker

Yup…..

Thats right....

Your seeing correctly……

Its a horror movie about a killer turkey……

And yeah, in case you were wondering…… It talks….

….and uses a hatchet to kill its victims.

I'm gonna be bold…… I'm gonna take a chance……I want to say this is the GREATEST horror film to ever be made about the Thanksgiving holiday. And other than the faux "Grindhouse" trailer for Eli Roth's "Thanksgiving" (which i hear is actually happening), "Thankskilling" is THE ONLY horror movie about Thanksgiving in existence.

And BOOOYYY what a movie it is. Lets start by saying the budget is nonexistent. The acting is BEYOND horrible and the whole movie feels like it was just a fun weekend project by a bunch of college kids. And it TOTALLY WORKS. Everything you want in a horror film is here. Gore? check. Cheesy one-liners? check. Turkey sex? check……… Wait what??…….. Thats right kiddies this turkey fucks people in more ways than one. FOUR WORDS…… "Turkey Gravy Flavored Condom"

I didn't really have to high expectations for this one, but it delivered more than i could have imagined. This one will DEFINITELY be added to the annual Thanksgiving activities.

The website is literally stuffed with production photos and other good giblets (i know, i couldnt help myslef). And get this….. the movie is "open-source". The creators are inviting you use there movie to make your own turkey day massacre. Just download a digital copy and all you at home directors out there can make your own masterpiece. Theres even a contest for best edit. If I had the time, I'd be ALL OVER THIS.

Stop reading this and go watch it now. Its available on Netflix for instant download for those blessed with the service. (if you love cheesy horror Netflix is a must, TONS of titles for instant download).

I want you to know something.

The ham piece that represents the A, in the name of our Fantastic Blog, We need More Ham, looks like a dick.

More specifically. It looks like my dick.

I'm okay with this.

Everybody Hail to the Pumpkin King

 Tim Burton's current exhibit at the MoMA (which will be up until April 26, 2010 so don't kill anyone trying to get there) was pretty much everything I expected and then some. I managed to push and shove my way through the massive crowds that surrounded the show this past Wednesday and as usual, was very impressed by all of his work. Burton's creations take up 3 floors and on display are his sketches, sculptures, character developments, early film projects, and what impressed me the most, his photography. Large looming polaroids of different creepy and obscure creatures filled most of the first level of the exhibit, and that alone was well worth the trip. So, if you can tolerate the gaggle of goth kids that cram into the gallery space, I'd definitely recommend checking it out.

... On a side note the New Photography 2009 show immediately follows the Tim Burton exhibit after you exit the display on level 3. This is also worth taking a look at, particularly for the Daniel Gordon photographs. Gordon prints out different body parts, assembles them into sculptures and then photographs using a large format camera. Pretty sick stuff.