After recently viewing the documentary The God Who Wasn't There (written, directed and narrated by Brian Flemming which is a mere 60 minutes long and I highly recommend), a critical website has been brought to my attention: www.raptureletters.com. Created by God fearin' bible thumper Scott Butcher, Rapture Letters offers the useful and unique service of sending out a standard e-mail to your loved ones after the rapture has come and you've disappeared without a trace... leaving behind all those silly atheists, jews, gays, muslims, hindus, pagans, masturbators, etc.
Here's how it works, as quoted from the home page:
"The rapture: When all the believers in Jesus Christ, who have been born again, are taken up to heaven.
After the rapture, there will be a lot of speculation as to why millions of people have just disappeared. Unfortunately, after the rapture, only non believers will be left to come up with answers. You probably have family and friends that you have witnessed to and they just won't listen. After the rapture they probably will, but who will tell them?
We have written a computer program to do just that. It will send an Electronic Message (e-mail) to whomever you want after the rapture has taken place, and you and I have been taken to heaven."
Here's a screen grab of an exerpt from what the standard letter states
Well thank... God. I mean, really. How else would my agnostic neighbor know to feed Mr. Puffkins once I've entered the pearly gates? This will also save the police enforcement's precious time rather than needessly searching for my body inside a garbage bag at the landfill or lying in the pine barrens off of exit 67. Oh, and who's got the last laugh now to those who wrote me off as crazy for not shaving or showering, rambling loudly to anyone who passed and holding up my "The End is Near" sign. Hope you like the steamy climate where you're going!
Shun the non-believer. Shuuuuuuuuun.
.... I must have been on vacation that day